Hi everyone

My dear blogger friends - I must say, I miss blogging - writing, reading and exchanging some views with very nice, intelligent and talented people. I want to say thanks . Especially to Mauro and Lonelyho - I wish I had more time to read them - but i hope they understand that I am working a lot ( from 11 a.m to 10 p.m). everyday - when I have a break, I eat, drink and walk - sitting in the internet cafe is too tiresome for me. But in September I will be blogging without any problems. take care, my readers...
Margie...Amelia

My friends

My dear blogger friends, I'm gonna have some rest during summer, that's why I won't publish regularly. I hope you understand. I wish you wonderful summer and take care,
Yours Margie (Amelia)

Make love to me

As soon as Amelia closed her eyelids, her soul was transferred to the place called "The world of Erotica"...
"What a strange place", thought Amelia looking around, there were so many souls there. All of them seemed to be lost and shocked, in a sense.
My dear readers, I hope you can understand and forgive me - the narrator - this bold scene, it is only a description of a dream, so please, don't ask me to change the category of this blog.
Coming back to my main protagonist and her exciting dream...the place didn't resemble a paradise for pure, innocent girls and boys!!! Unfortunately, or rather fortunately for our Amelia, it looked like... (I'm not sure, how to express it the best not to offend anyone?)..an orgy club in Paris. Lots of human souls (bodies) - it is difficult to say, were making love, they seemed to show all kinds of sexual positions and no doubt, looked like the happiest creatures in the world (or in the dream, as I should say). For the first time Amelia had seen someone having sex (an oral, anal, tantric, tao and classical one)...
No wonder, she felt so excited sexually, that after a while Amelia became one of the participants and began the best of her love dances with the unknown handsome soul with blue eyes and delicate hands, which were touching her intimate parts in a subtle, but passionate way. And she wasn't indiffernt, but touched his body, concentrating on lower parts...with love and attention.
After an hour of making love, she felt they were coming together... What a relief...
When Amelia woke up the following morning, I saw her crying, but I knew she was happy thanks to this amazing and passionate dream...

Let's talk about sex...

The day before the 1st November 1992, Amelia visited one of her new friends called Bożena, a young teacher of Maths in the primary school, in her place. This pretty blonde lived with her handsome husband (George) in a wonderful detached house. They were a nice couple - wise, open-minded and witty. It was funny to talk with them about politics, day-to-day problems and other less important issues. Exchanging the views enabled Amelia to become more assertive and easy-going. Their conversation referred also to sex, the issue - which in Catholic Poland is still a kind of taboo...
"You know, I don't see, why Catholicism requires strict celibacy before marriage. Priests should realise that it's against human nature, shouldn't they?, Amelia wondered.
"Of course, they should, but my dear, don't forget that our JP2 is pretty conservative and no reforms are possible, thanks to our beloved Pope we have to live according to medieval principles",said George in an angry voice.(He was a Catholic, but he couldn't accept some rules, which he found silly).
"O.K., but I will never understand, why one of the greatest Poles can accept the fact that some priests abuse sexually small kids. He knows about it, but doesn't do anything to change it, added Bożena,"What's more, a majority of Polish priests have their girl-friends or sleep with call-girls. And they make us live in the state of celibacy. It's funny, isn't it???
"I wouldn't say funny, rather repulsive..., but let's not talk about the church, it's a waste of time." said Amelia. "Let's talk abot sex, my friends".
So the rest of the evening they were drinking good wine and talking about sexual positions,oral sex, contraceptives and even about sexual yoga (called "tantric yoga"). If some of their older colleagues from work had listened to them, they could have been shocked...When Amelia came home at midnight, she took a shower and went to bed. As soon as she fell asleep, the young woman entered the world of bold fantasies called "The world of Erotica"...

Leaving Cracow - starting a new stage in life

It was another wonderful fall, Amelia started working on her thesis entitled, "Quest for love and self-knowledge in the selected novels by Edna O'Brien, Sylvia Plath and Muriel Spark". Meanwhile she got a job in elementary school and her first apartment near Nowy Sącz (the place where she was born, as maybe some of the most faithful readers remember. ). It was a wonderful experience moving to another place, starting a new stage in life. She felt relief thanks to being so far from Bogdan and the past. She even felt excited entering the school - on the first of September (it is the beginning of the school year in Poland). After work she spent her time redecorating her bedroom, living room, a nice kitchen and a small bathroom on her own (with some help of her parents and sister). It's worth adding that Dagmara - Amelia's sister - was at that time her true friend. It didn't matter that Dagi was 19 years younger - they loved and understood each other very well. Maybe for Amelia Dagi was not just a sister, but in a way the fulfillment of her motherhood...who knows.
New friends from work (a bit older than Amelia) and a perspective of meeting a new boyfriend helped her forget about all the sorrows. She felt like an Angel with a broken wing, but the other wing let her fly very high - with a sincere smile on her beautiful face and a joy in her heart...
"It is better and better, I can live fully and remember only the best moments of my life." Amelia thought.
She also came to the conclusion that she should feel grateful even for her suffering..
"Thanks to my pain (and all these guys whom I loved) I am who I am - a mature and strong human being, not just a small, helpless leaf flying in the air..."
Amelia breathed deeply and looked around in the classroom, the group of pupils were staring at her with astonishment and admiration... They liked her as a nice, demanding teacher, and as a young woman who was able to attract the attention of some boys and make them learn English quite well...

A slippery road to Heaven

Amelia had to go on living, in spite of the suffering, which poisoned her soul and mind...She seemed to be indifferent with her frozen heart and sarcastic grimace on her face. Her slim and attractive body revealed her inner self expressed by so called "3 P"; pride, pain and prejudice instead of "3 E"; eroticism, energy and empathy.
"The loss of unfulfilled love hurts much more than the loss of fulfilled one," she thought.
"But I can't give up, I must live my life fully as if my loss was a gift, thanks to which I can understand myself and the essence of true love", Amelia said to herself.
It was pretty difficult to exist, study and work as if nothing special had happened. As if Bogdan was a ghost or a vampire, who must be removed from all her dreams and memories in order that Amelia could take a fresh, deep breath of new ideas. It took her some sleepless nights, but it really worked and she started a new stage in her life - putting her feet on a slippery road to Heaven, called Happiness...
To be continued...

How to say goodbye?

It was very late and probably Amelia would have slept her wonderful dreams if she hadn't been listening to her dad's monologue for five hours. In fact, she wasn't able to focus on his words, his harsh voice aroused anger in poor Amelia. But Eddie didn't pay attention to his daughter's reactions and feelings. He simply wanted to make her answer two simple questions: "where were you so long?" and "who was with you?" You may wonder if this guy was really mad talking to her daughter this way. Mind you, Amelia at that time was a 26-year-old, responsible and serious woman (not a kid)...No, he wasn't mad - maybe scared, as two hours before Amelia came home, he had answered the phone. During the conversation - he heard sth like that:
"If your daughter doesn't leave us alone, we will send you a parcel and you will find the dust of your beloved Amelia in it".
It must have been a shock for a man like him, as he began shaking throwing down the phone and crying like a small kid. Eddie realized tha Amelia had problems, and as he knew nothing about cults - he thought,
"My little daughter must meet criminals. That's obvious. But how shall I make her tell me the truth? Maybe if I insist she will tell me, yeah she will!"
But she didn't do it at all-all the time Amelia was sitting as if she was paralyzed. She wasn't able to say a word, all of it seemed to be a nightmare. She hated his father for telling her about the phone call. She hated him for revealing the truth, depriving her of illusions. She had to escape from him in order not to get mad. Her imagination let her disappear very quickly... Once again Amelia was sitting on Bogdan's knees on the sofa, feeling his delicate touch and hearing the words of love... But it didn't work long, after a while an angry voice of Eddie woke her from daydreaming. You can't escape from the real world no matter how much you will try, can you?
Next day Amelia met Bogdan just to tell him about that phone call and her hard night, giving him a choice "if you wanna be with me, leave the cult and go with me abroad". And he chose...the cult, sacrificed their friendship, love for the Moonists. Amelia couldn't believe that she wasn't that important...So she said goodbye to her beloved and no doubt, it has been one of the most painful goodbyes in her lifetime...